asholdah = my life is in your hands

Posted via email from shades of grace

alive & kicking09:43:

Angel and mortal is a fun game in class!

Posted via email from yijia's posterous

Labels: posterous, random

alive & kicking08:41:

Testing out the wonderful posterous...

Posted via email from yijia's posterous

alive & kicking08:25:

Was thinking of abandoning blogger, but since it an be imported, so I'll just leave it here.

Labels: posterous

alive & kicking08:03:

哈哈，写诗写到了瓶颈。很久没有用中文写部落格了，这是很久很久以来的突破啦！

其实写了这么多首诗，有几篇嘲讽校园政治，几片开心的写照，但其他的都分为两大类：自讽与emo。两种都诉说着一种坚持，但性质不一样吧。一种是沉溺，另一种是回首一笑。

自讽成了主要题材，不是因为我是个疯子。或许会听人说，自讽往往都是伤害自己的表现。把过去不愉快的人、事、物成为自己的“养分”化为创作题材，说起来潇洒，但谁在这个过程中不是在自己的伤口撒一把盐？

植物和人一样，除了养分其实更需要水分。（空气是前提啦！）在找养分填补自己的空虚时，我们是否意识到，我们最需要的不是养分，而是水分？水分的地位更崇高，是任何养分都不能取代的，它要比所有不愉快的人、事、物站在更高峰。有了水分才找养分的植物，才不会伤害自己呀！相反的，没有水分的植物永远都处于不满的状态，怎么多的养分也是空虚，这就是EMO啦。

所以，自讽是因为有比身边我所写的人、事、物更高的‘水分’。

SUMMARY:
Thank God for being my spiritual water so I can mock my past in a painless way because I have a new heart to begin with!

Labels: God, inspiration, poem

alive & kicking20:40:

On the brink of turning one year older. Many thoughts, many feelings. I was still pretty apathetic few hours ago, until I realised the excitement.

I was thinking about my seventeen years in life and the many people I want to thank for helping me make it thus far.

1) Papa & Mama
Papa, you are awesome. Weirdest dad to have. You taught me how to fish with your peculiar understanding and theories. I always remember to learn with understanding and not memory. You introduced be to a world of forgiveness, planting the seed of my salvation since young. I can't thank you enough.

Mama, you were always there for me. While I fished all the sucky stuff in life, you taught me how to deal with each and every smelly fish and even crying with me when I'm bitten by sharks. Thank you or your attempts for fattening me up with your superb culinary skills. They make my efforts to slim down very, very hard. I love everything you cook. Can't thank you enough too.

2) Sis and Bro
You two crazy crazy crazy people. Aiya, I know we always make noise, argue and blah but that is what brightens up the house, really. Thank you for your edifying sharing and letting me use the computer although you hate it, Yi Le. Thank you for your random comments that make me laugh and treating me to our Sunday snacks, Yi Yang. You guys rock.

3) Mdm Lau
She made an impact in my life. I won't ever ever forget. She is an angel sent by God that changed my life. I can safely say I did not die in what M calls the 'evil society' back in Primary School because of her wings of protection and rebuke that shaped me to be a better person. Her motivations were evidently Godly. Thank you!

4) Jean, SP, ZX
Amazing people I still keep in touch with after so long. It feels so good to come together once in awhile. In the midst of ever-changing reality, it is so heart-warming to see somethings are still constant. The kind of click we share cannot be explained, not as if we talk alot. Remembering wonderful canteen times in Pri Sch is a topic we never fail to talk about, yet not growing sick of. You guys form wonderful memories but I'm glad your are still in the reality of my life!

4a) NICOLE EYF!
You rock to the max. I hope we can talk moreeeeeee! ONG TOOT TOOT, LIB MUGGING, THAI KIDS, PRI SCH TIMES, SUCKY SEC SCH EXPERIENCES, DELICIOUS SAMBAL FRIED RICE, SUMO HOUSE, GOD. We've been through thick and thin and you're like the person I know for the longest besides my piano teacher and family. You are dearly missed!

5) Sages clique.
The seven of us! Thank you Xuelun for a wonderful yet traumatising childhood shared, and all the talk about music that binds. M for all our satirical poems, pictures, accessories, defining-style, going to toilet, and every random talk under the sun or even not talking at all. YT for movies, intellectual discussions and non-intellectual but still intellectual discussions, sharing of thoughts so openly, you are super good to talk to. Jiayi for your wonderful cake-baking skills and continually praising me to be better than M to suan1 her, they are like funnier than encouraging, but thank you for bringing laughter into boring school days. Yuqing I miss you like gazillion loads already when can we go out ahhhhhhhh, sharing life with you is just simple heart-warming talks or hellos or blog tags or facebook status comments. SHIFU of course, I learn alot from you when it comes to money and speed wahahaha, but thank you for being bubbly and full of funny comments and encouragement especially when we flunk some CS thingy together!

6) ZWA!
Although I don't know each and everyone of you yet, but thank you for sharing life together and making it meaningful by serving God together. Thank you for all your prayers in these pretty tough times. Special thanks to Yunyi who takes initiative in communicating about our common problems, thank God for you! Yunian who asks us every week if we are okay and tries very hard to get things arranged. Dewen who pops by and is concerned about our lives and being random. Cruise for being lame, yet encouraging at the same time. Shi Xin for being...wonderful, I love your cards. Clifton who is inspiringly prayerful! Alot alot more... etcetc I hope I can list all of you here next year, but I really thank God for you brothers and sisters everyone of you who make up a family! (:

6a) Subset of the above, two special people.
ZhiYing and Jiamin! Thank you ZhiYing for everything you have invested on me to make me part of the wonderful family. My life would never be this way if not for your courage to take a step to invite me. Jiamin for everything including train rides and all the random talks that are strangely encouraging, you seem to appear when I'm uber tired. (:

7) God.
7 is a perfect number. Say no further. My life is soooooo exciting because I know you. Thank you for every wonderful thing You have done starting from the moment You entered my life. I hope as I grow older, I can know you more each day, love people more each day. I know you have a purpose for me wherever you put me to be, so use me! I thank you for all those mentioned from 1 to 6, because you placed them in my life. (:


Conclusion: I still have alot of people I have yet to thank such as Welfare, CO. Your made my life fun, challenging and enjoyable, all sorts of mixed feelings. Somethings do fade with time, but looking back at old pictures brings back really fond memories, I hope we really catch up soon and bridged whatever's lost with the fading of time. (:

Labels: birthday, God, reflections, thanks, thoughts

alive & kicking21:45:

Concluding my favourite show XINGGUANGDADAO6, it has come to an end. SIGH, my only source of entertainment has ceased. :(

Labels: note to self

alive & kicking19:53:

2 posts in a day!

Attempt to rewind blogging nostalgia.

Anyway, sometimes life comes to a point when you are required to make a choice. I don't know how many wrong ones I have made, going against so-called principles I used to think was for life. I wonder if I grew more mature, or become more childish by the years. I don't know to stick to my so-called principles or what. Family support is important and I really thank my mum and sis for that. My insistent on somethings just gradually fade away. Pragmatism overtakes idealism when you grow older, so is that part of maturing? Or just the lack of belief, something along the lines of child-like faith?

It can be summarised in a song, all these reflections and eveything. Can't copy the lyrics what is wrong with blogger!

Labels: rant, reflections

alive & kicking21:47:

I have indeed neglected this precious cyber-space. It used to be a window of imagination, but, now relctance and dread has overtaken it. Not that keen to blog anymore, I wonder why. Part of grwoing up, I guess? Not that I'm mature or anything.

EYF! Miss you loads. Thank you for your tag, amongst all the busy hustle and bustle it feels good to have someone who cares. (: Ya, we are like so cliche saying the same things over, but yea they are important.

Labels: friendship

alive & kicking21:32:

Passion for music can fade away,
Admist all the struggles,
All the efforts put in amount to nothing except failure and dissapointment.
I still want to believe.

Results they are basic for a student.
They get me to the university.
They fail me.
I still need to believe.

I can believe in alot of things.
Change?
Yes, but what used to be my network of support and encouragement changed too.
I still want to believe, that it comes back.

Friends are great.
But we all have our moments when we aren't the most understanding.
I am like that myself.
I still have confidence to believe.

Family.
We depend on them.
What if... they are gone?
Who would I then depend on to cope with the biggest loss?
I still want to have and need confidence to believe.

Jesus.
You never fail me.
Though I have failed you countless times.
You are BELIEF.

Labels: God, reflections, thoughts

alive & kicking21:16:

Yi Jia.
Child of God.
More about me here on posterous.